And now, for my sad, past self…
…and as a reminder for myself if I ever lost direction again.
If you ask me, my life is slowly going to the wrong direction. Just about everything went haywire. I’m sure my academic performance is going to plummet even further. Now I see other people’s bad sides. Now I know how lazy and ignorant some of them can be, and now I know how some of them can and will backstab you in the back just for their own sake, never caring about you in the first place.
But regardless, I’m still smiling.
I am happy. I am thankful. I don’t know how I could still smile after all this. Perhaps it’s just self pity. I don’t know, and probably never will, like everything else in the world.
My life, our life, is a mess, can’t agree with you better. But I’m smiling. I’m trying to. And I can feel it: I am changing, for the better. Is it because I grow up? Is it because I vowed to myself to? Again, I don’t know. But I’m happy.
I am happy, or at least trying to be, while looking for more happiness.
