Dear my future self: If you think your life is happy, awesome, and successful, and you remember about this place, please do your past self a favor and read this one.
Sometimes, you ‘d stop and think ‘Man, my life is good.’ Or ‘Whoa, this life of mine is fantastic, just fantastic.’ Or even ‘Hot damn, my life is fucking awesome.’ Continue reading ‘To my future, happy, self.’
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCK
I’m going to say it again: this term sucks. Badly. Right from the start to finish.
Lately, I can’t control my emotions quite right. I raged just because a friend pulled an old joke. I pretty much ‘assaulted’ him via the internet, even though i know it’s just a joke. And i raged for every other little things deep inside. Continue reading ‘Calm down.’
I bet you didn’t expect this. Obviously, we’re talking about an unattended blog with the last update dated around four or five months ago. At this point someone expecting a new post is just a stupid moron with nothing else to do in his life, or a really really really dedicated stalker. I’m not sure which one is better. Or whether the two of them is actually different.
Of course, with a post comes a question: so what are we posting about? Honestly, I don’t know. As usual. I just impulsively open my blog and said to myself, “A HA! I’M GOING TO POST SOMETHING ON THIS BLOG!” open the ‘Add New Post” menu, and then spacing around for a minute thinking “So, uh… what are we going to talk about again?”. So there you go, you got your reasons.
Oh wait, I just found something to talk about.
Let’s talk about pressure. Or stress. Continue reading ‘A totally unexpected random post in a totally unimportant random blog. Don’t you even wonder why the writer don’t just write this totally randomly?’
Long story short, setelah bulan pertama kuliah di bulan Ramadhan yang menyenangkan, liburan akhirnya datang.
Happy? But of course. Kinda wished it would last a bit longer though.
But eniwei, liburan ini memberikan gw banyak waktu luang…well, ngga banyak-banyak amat, tapi lo tau lah gw gimana…. Sehingga gw lagi-lagi hadir di sini buat iseng ngetik ga jelas di blog kesayangan gw yang masih belum keurus designnya (suatu saat nanti…. *menatap ke arah horizon*).
Jadi, ijinkan gw (like i need permission to begin with) buat ngebahas tentang tugas-tugas yang dengan setia mengganggu, er, meramaikan liburan gw.
~Ignore this post as usual.
The desire to win is a human’s inherent traits. Deep inside, everyone wants to be a better person on something than other people around him.
As weird and quirky as i am, i am also a human that have said desire to win.
With that said, i go to that competition with high confidence and high spirit. Confidence on how i might grasp victory with my own hands. Not any ordinary victory, but a hard-fought one you get from giving your all. I am not the loser i am last month. I am a competitor, with equal chances to grab victory like everyone else. I might not be at the top, but i will fight to the end to a place where i can see the top proudly.
And so i go, realizing it fully that i have near-zero experience and near-zero knowledge.
But still, I go, confident as always.
As expected, everything go against the plan. My ‘rich’ knowledge gained from ‘deep’ and ‘intense’ researches fall flat on the opponent’s counterattack. Still, i continue to fight, leading my partner, believing that we still can win this, this is just the beginning!
It took not so long of a time for me to realize how wrong i am. I stumble to the very bottom, forced to see my comrades rise to the top with pointless envy seeing how obviously superior they are.
Yet i am still confident. I still believe i can lead my partner to rise higher on my next try.
I did. I manage to stand as the second winner on my next try.
Yet, it is not a desirable victory.
At all.
It was a loser’s battle, with the obvious winner rising to the top by himself and the other three pair of losers, including ourselves, fighting each other deciding who should tail the winner.
Yet i am still confident. I still believe i can lead my partner to rise higher, at least a little bit on my next try.
I realized how wrong i was. We was crushed ferociously, similar on how me and my teammate lost last month. At that moment, my confidence finally shattered. I finally realized how i will never win this. I finally have given up on everything.
It was an obvious defeat until the other side of the bench rise spectacularly to the first place, dragging us from the bottom to the second place. But of course it is not a desirable victory, let alone if you can call it a victory. It’s more like a pity rather than a victory.
By the end of the day, i have lost everything. My confidence, my hope, everything. I am nothing more than a loser, lying down at the very bottom of the mountain, thinking about my comrades somewhere in the mountain looking at the top, with me barely able to see them, let alone the top.
So i laugh, laughing at my once high, now shattered confidence. Laughin on my ‘rich’, yet destroyed in one blow, knowledge. Laughing on everything. Laughing on myself as a loser.
Yet i still believe, somewhere, someday, i will grasp the victory i desired. So i stand up one more time, hopefully not the last. I will fight again.
Winners never quit. Quitters never win. I just hope i am not the rare type that never quits and never wins.
Well. Here i am. Di tempat tidur, (akhirnya, btw) ngetik lagi di blog ini, yang masih ngga keurus (dan moga-moga akan keurus suatu saat nanti….suatu saat nanti *melihat kearah horizon nun jauh disana*).
Yaa, mo diapain lagi? Diantara kesibukan gw kuliah-makan (pas lagi ga bulan puasa tentunya)-maen yang jelas lebih banyak maennya, niat gw buat nulis ga jelas di blog ini makin sulit muncul. Gw tau sebenernya ada pihak-pihak yang merindukan kehadiran tulisan-tulisan baru gw (yang sebenernya baru ada satu? apa dua ye? di blog ini) yang selalu dibaca dengan riang, bacaan yang tepat untuk mengurangi penantian berbuka puasa. Meski mungkin cuma ngefek ngurangin 2-3 menit. Whatever.
Lalu…biar sedikit relevan sama judul post, ijinkan gw sedikit bercerita tentang taun kedua paruh pertama alias kuliah semester tiga gw.
Kurang lebih, setelah hampir dua minggu kuliah ada tiga hal penting yang menarik untuk dibahas:
- Kuliah itu sendiri + kegiatan2 laen gw yang mulai sok-sok aktif.
- Puasa di bulan Ramadhan~
- PMB alias Penerimaan MaBa
Pertama, soal kuliah. Berhubung gw IRI (read: IRI) sama temen2 gw yang ngambil SP en bisa seenaknya ngambil SKS kurang semester ini ato semester depan, maka gw memutuskan buat ngambil SKS lebih banyak dari seharusnya, yaitu 22 (harusnye 19). Sebelom ada yang langsung ngacungin jari dan teriak ‘OBJECTION!’ ke gw dan menunjukkan kontradiksi, biarkan gw menjelaskan rencana gw dulu. Dengan mengambil 22 SKS semester ini, gw bisa ngambil SKS kurang ato nyodok mata kuliah semester 5/6 semester depan. Tujuan sebenarnya dari rencana gw adalah gw ngincer biar gw bisa ambil SKS sesedikit mungkin pas semester 5, dimana gw bisa berhura-hura ikut acara2 macem PMB ato jadi asdos sana sini. Kesimpulannya? Just as planned.
And aside from that, now that i am an active member of Fasilkom’s debating club and probably EDS in the future, i suppose it will be a real busy term/year after all. Why i bother enter? I suppose it’s because i am pretty confident in my English skill which is shown by unnecessarily, not to mention braggingly writing this whole paragraph in English. You don’t really need to read this part to know about how a fag i am if you are the select few people reading this blog on the first place though. Conclusion? Jiro is a faggot as usual.
Selanjutnya, soal puasa. Seperti yang kita tahu bersama, kuliah di fasilkom dimulai bersamaan dengan mulainya ibadah puasa. Apa akibatnya? Yah, macem-macem sih kalo lo nanya gw. Dari kuliah ngantuk (+ SUSAH BANGUN PAGI ;_;) + laper kalo kuliah sore en pengeluaran yang inherently jadi lebih hemat, mungkin yang paling ‘menyenangkan’ adalah buka puasa di markas para OOP, yaitu kosan kubo en ken, sambil nyeret beberapa mangsa buat nemenin kite buka en ngerusuh di kosan. Kesimpulannya? GW MUSTI BRENTI TIDUR MALEM2 ;_; oh, sama gw musti nyari mangsa lebih banyak buat dibawa rusuh ke markas.
Yang terakhir, soal PMB. Pertama-tama gw mo menyampaikan kesedihan gw karena rencana YNJS22DMJT (Yuk Nyamar Jadi Senior 2005/2004+ Dengan Modal Jenggot Tebel) telah gagal total setelah gw dengan polosnya mau-mau aja ngisi acara PSAU soal debating club yang dah sedikit dibahas diatas (dan sudah tentu gw akan males jelasin lebih banyak tentunya) tanpa sadar kalo TAUN ANGKATAN GW JUGA DISEBUTIN, yang secara langsung bikin banyak maba (yang ngga tidur pas PSAU, tentunya) langsung inget nama gw pas kenalan. Kesimpulannya? Fission Mailed.
Pas kenalannya sendiri sih… Gw seperti biasa dengan keantisosialan gw yang luar biasa (100% introverted lol) akhirnya cuma bisa nginget beberapa nama maba (kalo ada yang baca en emang gw lupain nama en tampangnya, gpp ye… gw juga sulit nginget nama temen angkatan gw sendiri tapi entah kenapa gw dah hampir luar kepala nomor2 seri mobile suitnya zeon yang sering dipake 
). Proses kenalannya sendiri cenderung berlangsung cukup mulus… Meski awalnya gw sok2 tsundere jijay alias jual mahal en susah dimintain. Ironisnya? Maba yang gw dengan menjijikannya tsundere2kan malah yang paling nempel di otak gw -_-; Kesimpulannya? Meski sedikit jijay en bikin geli, gw bertsundere ria dalam kenalan dengan maba sebenernya sih hampir ga ada gunanya juga.
Oh, en sedikit banyak gw nulis ni post memang gara2 comment si spesialo di postingan sebelomnya, jadi jangan terlalu kaget kalo memang ini post agak terdengar ga penting seperti biasanya. en jangan terlalu kaget kalo postingan selanjutnya baru nongol semester depan… ato si spesialo komentar lagi ‘jangan-jangan ini post terakhir di blog ini….’.
PS: Hoo, jadinya panjang juga…
kekeke, kayaknya titlenya rada sedikit terlalu puitis seh, ga cocok ama yang ngepost ama isi postingannya, cuma gpp deh.
Friday, March 07 2008.
Deadline tugas DPBO: besok.
Apa yang gw kerjakan saat ini: jelas, ngerjain tugas DPBO yang masih jauh dari selesai di tengah malam yang sunyi, tapi gara-gara bosen akhirnya ada nafsu buat ngeblog.
Yeah, gw mungkin memang deadliner sejati. But in the end, selama gw bisa nyelesaiin tugasnya on time, ga ada yang bakal marah kan? Bukannya itu gunanya deadline? kekeke.
Intinya sih, gw tetep santai aja en yakin kalo tugas ini bakalan selesai sebelom gw tidur.
(tapi ji, lo yakin ga bakal ngantuk?)
Tenang aja, persiapan gw dah mateng banget… ga mungkin gw ngantuk dengan persiapan macem:
- Di sebelah kiri, DS gw siap dimainkan setiap saat kalo gw bosen.
- Di sebelah kanan, tumpukan komik siap dibaca kalo gw ‘kurang inspirasi’.
- Di belakang, beberapa meter di luar kamar, ada beberapa stoples berisi cemilan sewaktu-waktu gw butuh tambahan nutrisi en energi.
- En jangan lupa laptop gw berisi 1001 macem hiburan yang pas buat gw nikmati…. (lha ya iya lah, laptop gw gitu)
(err, iya deh, gw percaya lo ga akan ngantuk. tapi ji, bukannya kalo kaya gitu lo ga akan bener2 ngerjain tugasnya?)
Y-ya nggak lah, lo jangan ngeremehin gw… Godaan emang banyak, cuma gw bukan tipe orang yang gampang terbuai kok, sumpah deh.
(….yang bener?)
Nggak percaya? Perlu bukti? nih, foto lokasi kejadian:
liat BlueJ di sebelah kanan bawah? Itu bukti yang cukup buat membuktikan gw kerja keras ngerjain tugas bukan?!
( (ZP lagi nyetel gaogaigar, torrent nyala, mirc nyala, donlot jalan….)….err, ya udah deh, gw percaya aja….)
Btw, sekarang gw tiba-tiba ngantuk, jadi gw tidur dulu deh, besok pagi lanjutin tugasnya… See you next post, then…
( bukannya tadi dia bilang sesuatu yang bunyinya mirip2 ‘gw yakin kalo tugas ini bakalan selesai sebelom gw tidur.‘ ye…?)
P.S. : postingan diatas rada hiperbola, sebenernya gw masih akan ngerjain tugas ini sebentar lagi, en mungkin tugas ini bakal selesai malam ini….mungkin….
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